FM Fanboys Discussion | Football Manager Forums: Friday Night with Julius & Friends | S2 E1 P2

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Julius: Welcome back to the Julius & Friends show! Next up we have Scene Blogman Levo, he's here to discuss his new site FM Pundit and we have Jordo to follow after him. So let's get to it, here's Levo!

[camera two pans to a drunken tramp stumbles out from behind the door, much to everyone's surprise. He's holding a bottle of Jack Daniels, which looks like it's been watered down a little bit to stop his poor trampy heart from taking the hard stuff and stopping mid-drink. Cleary this isn't Levo.]

Julius: Hello Jordo. You're percieved as a bit of a wild odd-ball. Now obviously that's true. How would you describe yourself both on the Scene and in real life?

Jordo: I like a laugh, that's it really. I can be a bit abrasive with my humour at times and alot of cunts don't like that, but meh.

[camera five pans to the audience where a lot of people in the studio are looking around at each other. Oh yeah, he's a funny drunk people, show some respect!]

Julius: Do you know anyone from the Scene in real life? I know there are quite a few Jocks on FM-View, do you know each other? I just presume you Scots are like Latin people, because they all know each other.

Jordo: I've met a couple aye. Me and Luke (Blackwood) have been to a couple of Hours gigs which was ace. Me and Scott (Gers) got smashed a few weeks ago as well which was fb, ended up in the casino where he managed to win some money, then txt his whole phonebook to tell them, it was class apart from when he spewed all of his pizza up.

Julius: Wow, you fell for the oldest internet trick in the book. At least you've not been raped yet, cut ties and don't see them again. Aside from casinos, where on the Scene do you most frequent these days? I hardly see you about anymore, at one point I couldn't move for you - then again, you were stalking me.

Jordo: FMV more than anything. I still browse LW but the average mental age of members there is about 6 and most of the topics are shite, I quite like the football chat though. There's a couple of characters who I'd like on FMV though. I won't name them but since their ego's don't need rubbed anymore.

Julius: It's a relief to see you've stopped rubbing things, that last time was a real low, even for you.

[camera one pans to a little old lady in the audience, she's mumbling something.. "aww how sweet, the poor boy done a hand job for drink, I remember when I was young.. same thing happened all the time, back then we just called it a 'good night'." - the audience members around her seem a little unsettled with the comments they've just heard and the vision they've just had. God dammit, shut up the hell up grandma. I really can't take that woman anywhere.]

Julius: What do you think of the Scene? Is it entertaining underneath the petty fighting or has it gotten to the point where it's become really boring?

Jordo: I still enjoy the banter, but I think I'm only still here because I've been here for about 6 years or something so it's just habit more than anything. I used to be obsessed but now I can go for days and even weeks without it if I'm busy.

Julius: Of course you can Jordo, of course you can. All addicts can do things like that, they're notorious for it! If you're still lurking the Scene I can only assume you're playing the game. Are you playing FM10 much? What would you say was the best feature of the game and how is it compared to last year?

Jordo: Aye I was blasting it the last few days. I've set myself a challenge of winning myself a Champions League with a club in all the major European countries. This is the first year I've used the 3D match engine and it's brilliant. I love it.

Julius: Who are you currently managing? Tell me a little about your latest current game.

Jordo: Inter Milan at the moment. Started off with Bayern and spent just over two seasons with them, winning the Champions League in my second. I then went to Real after they sacked Pellegrini having not won anything for three years. They gave me a ridiculous amount of cash and I splashed it on Rooney, Fabregas, Chiellini among others. It only took me a season to win everything with them, I went the whole season only losing once in all competitions (A 3-2 first leg Copa Del Rey defeat to Zaragoza). I started my second season with them then I seen Inter were languishing in 17th in the Serie A so I took them over, undefeated so far after about 10 games and I've got them up to 5th, got drawn Barca in the CL though which is annoying, so I'm not confident my squad is strong enough to beat them yet. So aye, we'll see.

Julius: What's the next step in your FM career? Anywhere you want to manage or plan to manage? Any particular team you've thought about managing and haven't yet?

Jordo: I want to win a CL with either Lyon or Bordeaux. They're the only ones I can realistically win with in France. An English team too, I'll see what comes along, then I might go onto manage in some shitty league with some shitty club and see what I can do.

Julius: What do you want to see more of in the game? Possible addtions for FM11..

Jordo: I'm pretty satisfied tbh. I think it's a wee bit too tactics-orientated just now though which is frustrating since I'm not great with them.

Julius: On the back of that useless answer, describe what you did today. How was your day?

Jordo: I worked today. I work for this security company who employ stewards for the football. I was at Celtic v Aberdeen today. Normally I see the game but today I was stuck standing at a fire exit to make sure no-one went out it. It was fucking pish. Now I'm going to get a chinky and watch Real/Barcelona games, watch a film then have an early night, because I'm working early again tomorrow.

Julius: Anything interesting happen to you? Any tales or anicdotes to share? You seem like the kind of person who'd have a funny tale to tell.

Jordo: I was on my way to work and seen a wee boy with a Celtic top on that had SANDS 81 on the back (Google Bobby Sands for those of you who don't know) and I was disgusted. Fucking dirty ignorant fat tim of a da prolly done it and the wee boy has no idea. Fucking joke. I seen my old English teacher at the game today as well, she was a fucking cuntface, figures that she's a dirty tim. I just blanked her though when she went to talk to me \o/

Julius: Also, if you're in Google, use the translator to work out what he just said. I have no idea but I think he's selling me something; No, no, I've enough fruit and veg at home, thanks though mate.

[at this point Jordo has literally pissed on the brand new sofa. I knew I shouldn't have bought suade, if I'd got leather it'd have wiped off, it's absorbed now and Levo has got to sit on that next. I've got to put one of our more useful guests on a piss soaked sofa. Great, he'll leave here thinking highly of this show.]

Julius: You were asked to do this on behalf of Keith11 and I have no idea why we thought booking you or listening to Keith would be a good idea, still you're here now. What do you think of Keith?

Jordo: I'd go for a pint with him. Could be a laugh. Shame he's Irish.

Julius: Yeah, that'd be a bad mixture, a Jock and an alcoholic, one of you'd probably die before you left the pub. I think that's about it man. Is there anything you'd like to add?

Jordo: Have you shaved that stupid ginger attempt at a beard yet? And lol @ Liverpool. Kisses xxxxx

Julius: I've stubble, no beard. It's not ginger. I bid you good day.

[for the first time on the show, security is removing the guest. He's not misbehaved, apart from pissing on my sofa, but it's a little tribute to the Scottish way of life, "ha! we won this one Braveheart, your move next."]